10 things you must know about Speeches at Weddings

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please for…The Ten Most Important Things You Need To Know About Wedding Speeches….. It’s a fact that no wedding day is complete without the speeches. It’s essential that you think about them and plan them from the start. Why wouldn’t you? They are an opportunity for saying thank you, for saying romantic things, funny things and of course, for saying ‘I love you’. Awwww…..Check out our wedding checklist of the when, who, what and why of wedding speeches and download our FREE Ultimate guide to Wedding Speeches to help plan your upcoming wedding speech!

1 - When? When in your wedding day should you have the wedding speeches?

This is fairly straightforward. Occasionally the Father of the Bride speaks before the meal but generally the speeches take place after the wedding reception meal. Having said that sometimes couples choose to have the wedding speeches before the meal - usually with the idea of getting them out of the way, but having said that with our new ultimate guide to wedding speeches, we can help take the stress and worry away about wedding speeches and make you a wedding speech aficionado!

2 - Who? Who makes wedding speeches at a wedding?

It gets a little more complicated here. Traditionally the speeches are made by the Father of the Bride, the Groom and the Best Man. Nowadays and increasingly often, the Bride and sometimes the Maid of Honour, also speak.

 3 - Who? Who goes first? And what’s the wedding speeches order?

Obviously this varies a little depending on who is going to speak. If you’re sticking to tradition it’s always like this -

• Father of the Bride

• Groom

• Best Man

If you’re being a bit more ‘modern’  then it’s -

• Father of the bride

• Groom

• Bride

• Bridesmaids/Maid of Honour

• Best Man (You’ll have spotted that The Best Man always speaks last)

4 - What? What is each speaker expected to say in a wedding speech?

Everybody will want to express themselves in their own style, with their own messages. It’s part of the magic. But, without being too formal, each speaker does have some specific responsibilities.

The Father of the Bride wedding speech

• Express a welcome and thank guests for being there

• Give a thank you to the parents of your daughter’s new spouse

• Thank your own spouse

• Talk about your daughter. Tell people how proud you are, share some lovely and loving anecdotes

• Welcome your new son or daughter in law into the family

• Toast the happy couple

The Groom wedding speech

• Respond to The Father of the Bride’s toast

• Say thank you to the guests for attending and for wedding presents

• Say thanks to all the parents

• Compliment the bride

• If you’re giving out gifts this is the time to do it and say something about those members of the wedding party

• Toast the Bridesmaids and pay them a compliment

• Thank and toast the Bride's parents - especially if they have hosted the occasion

Image: The scene is set ready for some amazing wedding speeches!

The Bride Wedding Speech

• Thank your guests for coming

• Thank your parents. Particularly if they have paid for the wedding

• If you are also giving gifts, to the Bridesmaids for example, now is the time, thanking and complimenting them

• Compliment your Groom - this is the moment to add in a funny - or maybe romantic - anecdote or comment

• Raise a toast

The Bridesmaid or Maid of Honour Wedding Speech

This is where things get more flexible. For some, this is where, breaking just a bit with tradition, the Maid of Honour makes a speech and shares some humorous stories about the Bride. For others it’s a bigger break with the old ways and several or all of the Bridesmaids say something. Or they show a video. Or sing. You get the idea. Wherever you go with this the new rules already have some etiquette. These speeches should

• Even after a story or two - compliment and thank the Bride

• Thank and compliment the Ushers

• Toast the newly weds

The Best Man Wedding Speech

• Follow up and endorse the Groom’s toast and thanks to the Bridesmaids

• Pay a compliment to the Bride

• Tell the stories. This is the time you’re licensed to be funny. It’s going to be mainly about the Groom

• Read the messages from family and friends who couldn’t make it on the day

• Raise the final toast of the day to the Bride and Groom

5 - What? What to think about when you’re planning your wedding speech to make sure your wedding speech absolutely rocks on your wedding video!

There are a few overall guiding points worth remembering….

• First off, make sure you plan. Off the cuff usually goes off the rails

• Write it down. Then, when you’re familiar with your speech edit it down to a few key prompt points. Write them - large - on a couple of cards or use our ‘ultimate guide to wedding speeches’ free download as there are sections there to help you draft your speech ideas and space to create your final speech too! Reading a long script does not look great but some cues will help.

• Time it. Work on getting your speech down to a manageable 4 or 5 minutes. Less is more

• Be considerate. Having a bit of fun at someone’s expense is fine. Frankly, if you’re the Best Man it’s expected of you but there are lines you shouldn’t cross

 6 - What? What to say in a wedding speech

You wouldn’t want someone to write your speech for you. (No! You wouldn’t! You can do this). But a few professional pointers won’t go amiss.

• It’s all about the audience. It’s going to include aunties, uncles, grandparents and little ones. That ‘in-joke’ from the gym or that filthy gag that never fails in the pub could prove disastrous in a wedding reception

• Help is fine but try to be original. If you’ve found that killer one liner on Google so have millions of other people

• That said there’s nothing wrong with searching for quotes that will help you be romantic. All the poetry is out there

• One other thing to say. ‘No’ Not just yet thanks’. You’re going to be offered drinks. It’s a wedding. But you really need to be sober when you make a speech. Otherwise you’ll think you’re being funny, and you won’t be. It will haunt you. Forever…

7 - What? What not to say in a wedding speech! No pressure - but the wedding videographers are filming it….

We’ve touched on this already but let’s be clear. If a wedding isn’t a time to ensure that people come together in peace and love, when is? Race, faith, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age - respect all of them. There’s a simple rule. If, having thought of something and written it down, you have even the slightest trace of concern that it could offend anyone, cross it out. Don’t say it.

8 - Why? Why it’s important to plan the sequence of wedding speeches

It’s not just about who says what and in what order. Nowadays more and more couples are using a wedding videographer to capture the full magic of their day. The speeches are such an important part of the proceedings and you really want to make sure they are captured in full. Make sure you brief your wedding videographer fully on who will be making a speech, and the precise timings. Make sure the background is looking good. There’s a lot to cover on the day and footage of the speeches is something you do not want to miss.  

9 - Who? Who is looking at you when you do your wedding speech? 

It sounds obvious, but, the ceremony aside, the speeches are the most visible part of the day. If you’re making a speech this is when the entire assembled company of family and friends are looking solely at you. It’s also when you’re solo in the lens of the wedding photographer and the wedding videographer. So, double check for any wardrobe malfunctions before you stand up and the cameras roll. Enough said?

10 - Why? Why is all of this important?

As a final note it’s worth remembering that wedding speeches are long remembered. That’s why planning, writing and consideration are vital. Make it a day to remember, and make sure your part in it is remembered for the right reasons.

Capture your wedding speeches forever with a wedding video by Race Wedding Videography

We know that when your a bride or groom on your wedding day like most things, wedding speeches are one of those things that just seems to be over in a flash and will be something you want to watch and listen to again and again. Whilst you may have an ace wedding photographer, you wont be able to listen to our even watch the wedding speeches from the wedding photos. At Race Wedding Videography as part of what we offer, we include a video with all the speeches filmed in full! So there is no need to worry about getting your drunk bridesmaid to record them on her i phone or relying on uncle Bob and his 1980’s VHS camcorder! Your guests are there to enjoy and celebrate your wedding day with you they dont want to be filming the wedding speeches but don’t fret or worry as this is one of the videos we supply you with as standard. You will receive a full wedding film (20 minutes+) which includes the ceremony, a highlights trailer (2 minutes), a highlights trailer just for Instagram too. We record the wedding speeches with the best camera and audio gear. Wedding Speeches like the wedding vows from the ceremony always work great in a wedding film too, which we can overlay over the wedding film and wedding film highlights trailers - super emotional and unique to you two!

Thanks for listening. Please raise your glasses to……..